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Post by xxbetsaidaxx on Jul 8, 2008 19:31:00 GMT -5
stitch is not back yet, i don't think he will be back  i put up posters and went to the shelter and knocked on pretty much every door in the neighborhood and asked if anyone had seen him but no one had, i'm pretty sure someone took him because he would never ran away he just wouldn't do that...i took the nail polish off my nails for the first time in ages (i usually just paint over the old paint) and i somehow managed to cut myself twice while cutting carrots and my mom helped me put on the band aid thing and she got freaked out at how white my nails looked it was funny kind of, but now she doesn't want me to wear nail polish cause she wants to see my nails to check if i'm not anemic or what not, but yeah i don't care i'm still going to paint them |
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Post by xXxAnG.eLaxXx on Jul 8, 2008 20:37:10 GMT -5
That sucks so bad! I hope you find him somehow! I hope he's alright!
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Post by xxbetsaidaxx on Jul 13, 2008 21:38:46 GMT -5
the following won't make much sense so read at your own risk, i'm just doing this to keep my head from exploding or doing something i'll regret five mins later
i'm so freaking mad at myself right now! i just want to shoot myself for being so darn stupid! i got my results for the AP tests today and i got a 5 on the spanish one, not a huge surprise there i knew i had gotten top marks on that, but i got a freaking 2 on my history one, if i had only gotten a 3 i would have gotten college credit, but no! i either didn't study enough or panicked or both, gah!!! the thing that sucks the most is that they don't tell you what your percentage was or how many points you got, so as far as i know i could have been one point away from getting college credit, i hate myself right now!! i don't even know why i care so much about it because i'm not really interested in taking any history college classes or going anywhere in the history field but it sucks!! i am so disappointed! and mr. bedard will be disappointed too, i can't stand dissapointing people i feel so fucking horrible i'm so retarted!! gah!!!!!!!!!!!! i showed my mom my results and she was all like 'oh well at least you tried' wtf??!! what kind of reaction is that from a mom?!she should have been mad and yelled at me or something, i made her lose $80 on that test for nothing! i hate it!!!! I don't know if she thought that would make me feel good or something, but if she did then she doesn't know me!!! how can i feel good from a 'oh well at least you tried'? i wasted two whole semesters taking the class and actually studying which i have never done for any other class or test to get a fucking 2 on it, ahhhhhhh!!!! i don't even know how i'm going to be able to face mr. bedard this fall, i'm probably going to drop out of AP POD too i don't want to waste my time nd money again just to not pass the freaking test!! i love history and i had a great teacher, there was no reason why i should have not gotten a 3 or better on it, but i guess my stupidity was bigger than that....... someone murder me please and do the world a favor!! and make it painful please
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Post by xxbetsaidaxx on Aug 22, 2008 1:26:52 GMT -5
whoa it's been a long time since i wrote in here so i guess i should write a summary of how my life has been or something so here i goes  i didn't find stitch, i felt horrible for a while but then i started to feel ok probably because i watched elizabethtown and other great movies almost 24/7 for like two weeks straight, but then i stepped on my elizabethtown dvd and broke it so i had to settle with the soundtrack, oh and i listened to the rhps soundtrack a lot too...i tried to stop drinking so much diet coke and stay away from any type of caffeine, i succeeded with the dc but then i started taking caffeine pills again (i used to be really addicted to them last year) which wasn't good, but then my self control kicked in and i buried them and didn't buy any more, and i haven't had any caffeine (except for like a few cups of coffee here and there) in almost 2 weeks which is awesome  and the best thing is that i don't feel like a zombie, i've been drinking like my my weight in water which isn't that good, oh well...i kind of skipped ahead there...anyway i don't know when or why but things just went great, well not really, but they felt great, and really what else can you ask for?...oh and then like 4 days ago i met my new neighbor, he's technically not my neighbor because he lives a few blocks away but who cares? he seems pretty nice, so he might join my one person friend's list if he's not an a** hole like pretty much much every other guy, wow i sound like a bitter ex-wife or something, but yeah most guys are full of bs...a few days ago i felt like just murdering everyone for being so darn negative about things, i mean seriously i just felt like telling everyone to get over themselves and get on with their freakish life and stop bitching about it to me, i know i'm a bad person for thinking that but yeah i just couldn't help it i just got annoyed, but at least i didn't tell them, maybe i should have that would have saved me some ear pain later, but it would have hurt people's feelings so yeah I don't know...i'm getting my schedule tomorrow, i pretty much know all my classes already but i might drop a couple and get others instead because well I don't know, i'm kind of hopeful about this school year, i will try to make friends and not be so I don't know 'ignoring' when people try to talk to me...well i'm tired so i'm off to bed i just read over that^^ that and it's not really a summary it's more kind of like a bunch of babbling and random thoughts oh well i can't write a simple recap of my boring life lol  |
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Post by xxbetsaidaxx on Aug 24, 2008 0:55:22 GMT -5
i got my schedule for the fall semester yesterday (it's on my school journal thingy) anyway it was pretty much torture... my mom had to go grocery shopping so she dropped me off at school like 20 mins earlier than i had to be but there were already quite a few people there already, so yeah i just stood there listening to my ipod and blocking out the world, then Jaime got there and i said hi, but he had to go to another line cause of his last name, so then they finally opened the attendance office window (it has like two windows facing the main entrance of the school so you never really go in you just stay outside which is weird) and started giving out schedules, after like half an hour it was finally my turn and i got my schedule and ID (i don't look so horrible on it, but my hair looks greasy cause it was wet oh well) anyway then i went to the library, but i wasn't really paying attention to where i was going and went in trough the south entrance and this weird lady screamed at me "didn't you read the paper young lady?! it says EAST entrance!" so yeah i went back and got in through the right entrance even if i didn't really see what the big deal was, so yeah then i got all my books, they were REALLY heavy, i was trying to figure out how to arrange them so it would be easier to carry them and this two guys offered to help me because they had only gotten 1-2 books ( i got 5 huge books) one of the guys said he liked my pants which was strange but i love those pants too, so yeah anyway we got to a bench and then they left, i called my mom and she said she would take almost an hour to get there so i carried my books into the restroom and hid them on top of this weird thing that is used for storage (i have no clue what they keep in there, probably a corpse) so yeah i got my schedule out and went too see where all my classes were, that only took like twenty minutes so i went to the restroom and got my books and went to sit at the bench, i got really bored and wrote all over my hands, then i went to a table because the sun was bugging me there, but then i didn't like that table so i went to another table, after a while i saw a girl sitting by herself a few tables from me so i went and said hi (i'm never the first to like approach people but i was extremely bored) she was nice and said she liked my hair, so yeah we just talked about how our classes sucked and how the school sucked and how being stuck at school until someone picked you up sucked for like 20 mins and then my mom got there so i went to get my books from the first table i was at (i didn't carry them with me while i was table hoping) so yeah then i went home and looked carefully at my schedule and realized that a lot of the classes where wrong so yeah i have to go back on tuesday to change them  but maybe i'll talk to more people there and get ahead on my friend-making before school starts |
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Post by xxbetsaidaxx on Aug 26, 2008 17:29:05 GMT -5
so yeah i went to get my schedule today, my mom had to work, my sis had to work, my stepdad had to work, the whole world had to work, so my neighbor was supposed to drop me off at school and watch my little bro and sis while i made all the changes and stuff and i HAD to be done by 2:00 because he had to go to work at that time  ...ok i'm skipping forward to when i got to school...i went to the attendance window and asked the girl there where i had to go for schedule changes here's our little conversation "you have to go to the auditorium for freshmen orientation" "huh? why?" "you're a freshman, right?" "do i look like i'm a freshman?" "yeah kind of" "ouch, i'm a senior and i'm here to change my schedule" "oh, i would have never guessed you were a senior" "again OUCH, can you just tell me where i need to be" "yeah just go around back and you should see an line of people" so yeah then i went around and saw a HUGE line of people and i stood in line there for about 10 mins and one of the secretaries came out and said that mr. walling and two other counselors where now in the career center and not in the main office, so me and about half the line went to the career center, the career center is REALLy small like the size of a classroom so we all had to stand outside ....skipping forward about 20 mins of nothingness...tiffanie, a girl i had in AP US his got there and we started talking about random stuff, and about every 2 mins we would find our way back to talking about the unbearable heat and how it should be illegal to have students stand outside when the sun is almost frying you...skipping forward another 20 mins... tiffanie left cause she had to go somewhere, so then i asked the guys that were behind me to keep my place in line while i went to get something to drink, so yeah i went and got a purple powerade zero, when i was walking back this one girl said she liked my hair which was nice, i think she was freshman, so yeah i got back in line and took a drink out of my powerade but this guy accidentally pushed me and i spilled half of it all over my shirt he said he was sorry, and then we started talking about random stuff and of course the heat again, he was kind of cute and if i were even remotely interested in having a bf right now i would flirt with him, but yeah i really don't want a bf i'm perfectly fine like this lol, but yeah he might qualify to be my friend...skipping forward 10 mins of crap and sun...they finally let us into the career center and i sat on this table/storage thing because there were no more empty chairs, after like 5 mins mrs. roberta told me to get off (she's a secretary there and she's a slut, i feel horrible for saying so but she is, she wears mini skirts and lowcut tops and she's like definitely over 50, pretty much the whole school knows she sleeps with one of the assistant principals even if their both married to other people ) so yeah then i sat on the floor and listened to my ipod for like another 10 mins until it was finally my turn, so i went into his office and here's our little conversation lol: "ID number please" "141737 i think, wait no hold on let me check, yeah it is that" "oooh i remember you, you're name's thalia, but you asked me to call you leah cause i couldn't say your other name, what was it again" "betsaida, but yeah don't even try to say cause you'll slaughter it again, i didn't think you would remember me" "well i did, and i don't have such a great memory so you should feel special" "ok i will" "so what can i do for you miss leah" then i told him what i wanted to change and why and he didn't want me to switch out of AP POD but i did so yeah then i said bye and he told me he'll be watching my grades and i was all like "ehh do you have to?" and the he laughed and i left, i took my phone out and called my neighbor, it was 2:03 but he was luckily still there and he picked me up so i didn't have to walk home in the freakish sun so that's how my schedule changing went  |
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Post by xxbetsaidaxx on Aug 30, 2008 0:04:42 GMT -5
well today was my bday, and yeah it wasn't really that special kind of... my mom woke me up and said happy birthday, then my sister came and she gave me this really huge bday card and a skirt with leggings, i'm not a big fan of leggings i like tights better, but yeah that was nice of her...then i had to go with my mom to my little brother and sister's dentist appointment, i just had to wait in the waiting area for the longest time, and this really weird old guy kept staring at me, and i don't mean like occasionally glancing, he was really staring at me, it was like he was taking my clothes off with his eyes it was sooo creepy and scary...yeah then we went to BK and i got a veggie patty (no bread of course) but it had a ton of mayo on it so i had to go change it (i had told them no mayo), we sat in the playground area thing and the kids there were really loud so it gave me a headache ...then we went to pay the water bill, and the heat started to really get to me i was shaking really bad...then we went to get groceries and i went to the restroom, i didn't really have to go to the restroom but i felt like i was going to faint and yeah fainting in front of my mom is not the greatest idea, so yeah i stayed in the restroom for like 5 mins, and then i went and got a rockstar (sugar free ) so yeah that made me feel a little better...then we went to pay the other bills...then we got home and i helped my mom put all the stuff in the fridge, and then i cleaned and vacuumed the living room...then nothing happened for a few hours...then my stepdad got here and my mom had to remind him it was my bday, that's not horrible but yeah it kind of hurt but yeah anyway he asked me where i wanted to go for my bday and i said six flags, so yeah we're going on sunday, i was really exited at first but right now i'm like not so sure anymore if i want to go anymore...oh and i got some shutter sunglasses at the grocery store (they have like this section where they sell jewelry and sunglasses and stuff in there) so yeah that's how my day was today...i feel really weird right now , but i'm sure i'll feel better by tomorrow |
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Post by xXxAnG.eLaxXx on Aug 30, 2008 21:26:43 GMT -5
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Post by xxbetsaidaxx on Sept 1, 2008 18:37:54 GMT -5
OMFG! i'm going to die, i was sure they used the boca burgers for some reason, but i guess they don't...i'm going to go throw up now and quite possibly die  |
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Post by xXxAnG.eLaxXx on Sept 1, 2008 20:30:58 GMT -5
 BK sucks >.<. |
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Post by xxbetsaidaxx on Sept 16, 2008 20:05:01 GMT -5
ok i guess i'm going to write about what happened this weekend... i'm going to start at the end of school cause that's when things started getting sucky, 6th period class was over and i had left my POD and pre calc books in POD cause i didn't want to carry them around, so yeah i got them and ben offered to carry them for me like he always does after school when i have books (he has POD last period so he was in there when i go my books) so yeah we were walking out of the classroom and everything just went black, i woke up a couple of mins later and mr. lininger was going crazy and asking me if i was ok, i was like 'oh crap now what do i tell him?!' i made up some bs story about not sleeping the night before and being stressed out and such, he bought it and let me go, so i ran to my english class because i had to get my book out of there before mr.mcadams left, i needed my book to do the hw, when i got there the classroom was locked so i was like crap crap crap crap crap crap crap so anyways ben caught up with and bryan was with him, ben had already told bryan i had passed out (i have no clue how he managed to find him and tell him in a couple of mins) so yeah we all missed the bus because of me we had to walk home and i seriously just wanted to collapse and die in the floor i felt so tired and horrible, but i had to act all hyper and jump and dance around all the way home to keep them from thinking i was sick or whatever and telling my mom, so yeah they walked me home and i slept for like 3 hours when i got here, then i woke up and felt a lot better so i forgot about it and was happy  then around 10 my sis got here from work and asked my mom if she could go to mexicali (that's right across the mexico-usa border) and she agreed but they started fighting about some other crap like they usually do, so yeah it was around 12:30 and i was reading cause i couldn't sleep and my sis came in my room and asked if she could borrow my camera because hers wasn't working right, so i'm like 'sure, but i haven't charged it so yeah, you're gonna have to get batteries for it' and she said it was ok and complained about how crazy my mom is, i kind of agree with her even though i don't get into fights with my mom like ever, but yeah we just talked a bit and she said i was a great, and then she left to mexicali, then i woke up and went jogging at 7 next morning and when i got back my mom started saying something about how my sister was so irresponsible and i just kind of blocked her out and nodded here and there, then she said 'and she's always taking advantage of you, like yesterday why did you let her borrow your camera? and i'm like 'well she BOUGHT it for me you know, and she wasn't taking advantage of me, i wanted to let her borrow it' then she's goes into this rant about how my sister messes with my head to make me think i want to do stuff, my head was spinning and i couldn't really hear her anymore, i just yelled at her 'stop, just fucking stop it, i don't want to hear you or lorena bitch about stuff to me anymore, who the fuck do you guys think i am?! if you got problems fix them!!' i locked myself in my room and about an hour later she asked me if i wanted to help her make breakfast, i agreed just because well I don't know why i agreed i just did, so we made breakfast and three of her friends got here because they had planned a little breakfast get together or whatever, they were just talking about random crap and then my mom starts telling them about how perfect i am, that i get perfect grades -which i don't- how i'm a great cook and how i had offered to make them breakfast when she told me they were coming over -i didn't offer anything and i didn't know they were coming until they did- how i have know how to chose friends well and have no bad influences -WTF?! i have only one real friend in this crappy town!!- how i'm really healthy because i work out and watch what i eat -there's an understatement if there ever was one! sometimes i think my mom is blind and/or retarded not to notice things- while she says all those freaking things i just sat there smiling and trying not to explode and tell her how i'm not perfect and how freaking stupid she was for thinking i was, i excused myself from the table and went to my room, i felt like doing something stupid so i had to get out of there so i just went for a walk, i walked to ben's house cause i just needed someone to talk to, but he wasn't there so i kept walking and i ran into bryan (he lives 2 houses away from ben so i'm guessing he was just getting home from his morning run) i must have looked a mess because he asked me what was wrong and i told him how my sis thinks i'm great and how my mom thinks i'm perfect and how it's all a huge lie and i started crying, then he said the worst possible thing he could have said 'well you are great and perfect, there's nothing wrong with that' i told him i didn't need that bs and he kept telling me how awesome i was, that was it was the WRONG thing to do, i felt like murdering him, after a bit i said 'cut your freaking crap and stfu! if i needed your bs i would have asked for it' i got up (we were sitting on the floor) and walked, well more like ran away from him, i climbed in my window cause i didn't want to see my mom but she had gone, i felt horrible so i did something stupid that i didn't think i would ever do again and drank two 2 litter bottles of diet coke and then i started throwing up for some reason, and i hadn't eaten pretty much anything so it hurt like hell, i pretended to sleep when my mom got here around 6, then my dad called and said he was coming over on sunday, that made me feel good but bad at the same time, i read basically all night and the next morning my dad came and we went to denny's and he started talking about my sister, my sister hasn't talked to him since last year because of a fight between him and my mom and my sis took my mom's side, in didn't take any sides obviously, but yeah he started asking me if she still spent all her money as soon as she got it and if she still partied so much, I don't know why but that made me really upset but i didn't show it, i just told him that she was more responsible now and she had never really been that bad and i was tired of people saying she's bad and i'm good, he said fine, we walked around the mall an i wanted to show him i wasn't so responsible as he thought i was, i bought some headphones and two the smiths' cds that i already had but i just wanted to make him get mad at me for wasting money or something, i dragged him into hot topic and bought a crappy shirt and three pairs of earrings, i hate hot topic but he hates it too so it was just another futile attempt to upset him...around 4 he dropped me home and i was mad at I don't know what, no one was home they had all gone to my stepdad's brother's house for a pool party, i felt like smashing my head on the wall and blowing up the world, i tried reading but i couldn't so i did something stupid and felt better, then it was all over and i relaxed and was happy again, it was like the world changed colors or something... so yeah that's what happened |
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Post by xxbetsaidaxx on Nov 19, 2008 20:12:31 GMT -5
i am so annoyed!!!! i lost my phone yesterday, i was just like 'oh well nothing to do now' cause yeah i had absolutely no clue where it could have gotten lost so there was really no point in freaking out about it or anything... today when i walked into 6th period mr. john asked me if i had lost something and i told him i had lost my phone and he told me he had it, he went to get it from his little cabinet thing but he couldn't find it and then he remembered he had let some dude use it as a calculator in 5th period and the guy hadn't given it back, he pulled the dude's schedule up on his comp to see what class he had and told me to go get my phone from him, so yeah i got there and asked mr. finn (that's the teacher in the guy's class) if he had a christopher something in there and he told me who was christopher (it turns out he's kind of cute) but yeah i asked him to give me my cell back and he said he didn't have it that some dude named diego had kept it so i was like 'wow this is great', mr. finn then called the office to get a campus security there and like 3 minutes later 5 security guys arrived  all the security guys know me and know that i don't really get into trouble or anything so they started intimidating the guy like REALLY bad i told them that i didn't want anyone to get in trouble so there was no need to go all CSI on the guy, but yeah they sent me back to class and told me they would get my phone back so i shouldn't worry so i was like yay! so yeah one of them drove me back to class, like 10 minutes later he came back and he had my phone with him but one of the keys was broken, it used to pop out sometimes and you have to place it back in but i guess they tried to force it in and a piece broke but yeah i really didn't care much so i didn't say anything, i told them thanks and went back to my seat and then i looked at it and i noticed that my wallpaper was set to the default thing instead of my usual picture that i have on there so i checked the camera album and there was nothing there, i opened the memory card slot and my memory card was missing!!! i started freaking out because i have pics on there that i really don't want people seeing (i don't THINK i have anything bad but still) plus a ton of music, i told mr. john and he said he'll ask the guys to give me the card back tomorrow, but yeah by tomorrow they would have probably already uploaded my pics and music to their comp and yeah it sucks sooo bad, just the thought of someone stealing my pictures creeps me out and yeah that's the only reason why they would have taken it cause the card doesn't fit most phones so it would be useless to them |
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Post by dark2nightmare on Nov 21, 2008 0:22:07 GMT -5
wow...that sucks...people are so annoying...  ...hope it all works out |
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Post by xXxAnG.eLaxXx on Nov 21, 2008 22:09:05 GMT -5
Wow that sucks really bad  . What stupid jerks! I hope everything turns out okay. |
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Post by xxbetsaidaxx on Nov 28, 2008 14:35:54 GMT -5
they said they didn't take it but i don't care anymore they can do whatever the heck they want, i have bigger things to worry about now
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i put up posters and went to the shelter and knocked on pretty much every door in the neighborhood and asked if anyone had seen him but no one had, i'm pretty sure someone took him because he would never ran away he just wouldn't do that...i took the nail polish off my nails for the first time in ages (i usually just paint over the old paint) and i somehow managed to cut myself twice while cutting carrots and my mom helped me put on the band aid thing and she got freaked out at how white my nails looked it was funny kind of, but now she doesn't want me to wear nail polish cause she wants to see my nails to check if i'm not anemic or what not, but yeah i don't care i'm still going to paint them
and the best thing is that i don't feel like a zombie, i've been drinking like my my weight in water which isn't that good, oh well...i kind of skipped ahead there...anyway i don't know when or why but things just went great, well not really, but they felt great, and really what else can you ask for?...oh and then like 4 days ago i met my new neighbor, he's technically not my neighbor because he lives a few blocks away but who cares? he seems pretty nice, so he might join my one person friend's list if he's not an a** hole like pretty much much every other guy, wow i sound like a bitter ex-wife or something, but yeah most guys are full of bs...a few days ago i felt like just murdering everyone for being so darn negative about things, i mean seriously i just felt like telling everyone to get over themselves and get on with their freakish life and stop bitching about it to me, i know i'm a bad person for thinking that but yeah i just couldn't help it i just got annoyed, but at least i didn't tell them, maybe i should have that would have saved me some ear pain later, but it would have hurt people's feelings so yeah I don't know...i'm getting my schedule tomorrow, i pretty much know all my classes already but i might drop a couple and get others instead because well I don't know, i'm kind of hopeful about this school year, i will try to make friends and not be so I don't know 'ignoring' when people try to talk to me...well i'm tired so i'm off to bed
but maybe i'll talk to more people there and get ahead on my friend-making before school starts 
...ok i'm skipping forward to when i got to school...i went to the attendance window and asked the girl there where i had to go for schedule changes here's our little conversation "you have to go to the auditorium for freshmen orientation" "huh? why?" "you're a freshman, right?" "do i look like i'm a freshman?" "yeah kind of" "ouch, i'm a senior and i'm here to change my schedule" "oh, i would have never guessed you were a senior" "again OUCH, can you just tell me where i need to be" "yeah just go around back and you should see an line of people" so yeah then i went around and saw a HUGE line of people and i stood in line there for about 10 mins and one of the secretaries came out and said that mr. walling and two other counselors where now in the career center and not in the main office, so me and about half the line went to the career center, the career center is REALLy small like the size of a classroom so we all had to stand outside 
then around 10 my sis got here from work and asked my mom if she could go to mexicali (that's right across the mexico-usa border) and she agreed but they started fighting about some other crap like they usually do, so yeah it was around 12:30 and i was reading cause i couldn't sleep and my sis came in my room and asked if she could borrow my camera because hers wasn't working right, so i'm like 'sure, but i haven't charged it so yeah, you're gonna have to get batteries for it' and she said it was ok and complained about how crazy my mom is, i kind of agree with her even though i don't get into fights with my mom like ever, but yeah we just talked a bit and she said i was a great, and then she left to mexicali, then i woke up and went jogging at 7 next morning and when i got back my mom started saying something about how my sister was so irresponsible and i just kind of blocked her out and nodded here and there, then she said 'and she's always taking advantage of you, like yesterday why did you let her borrow your camera? and i'm like 'well she BOUGHT it for me you know, and she wasn't taking advantage of me, i wanted to let her borrow it' then she's goes into this rant about how my sister messes with my head to make me think i want to do stuff, my head was spinning and i couldn't really hear her anymore, i just yelled at her 'stop, just fucking stop it, i don't want to hear you or lorena bitch about stuff to me anymore, who the fuck do you guys think i am?! if you got problems fix them!!' i locked myself in my room and about an hour later she asked me if i wanted to help her make breakfast, i agreed just because well I don't know why i agreed i just did, so we made breakfast and three of her friends got here because they had planned a little breakfast get together or whatever, they were just talking about random crap and then my mom starts telling them about how perfect i am, that i get perfect grades -which i don't- how i'm a great cook and how i had offered to make them breakfast when she told me they were coming over -i didn't offer anything and i didn't know they were coming until they did- how i have know how to chose friends well and have no bad influences -WTF?! i have only one real friend in this crappy town!!- how i'm really healthy because i work out and watch what i eat -there's an understatement if there ever was one! sometimes i think my mom is blind and/or retarded not to notice things- while she says all those freaking things i just sat there smiling and trying not to explode and tell her how i'm not perfect and how freaking stupid she was for thinking i was, i excused myself from the table and went to my room, i felt like doing something stupid so i had to get out of there so i just went for a walk, i walked to ben's house cause i just needed someone to talk to, but he wasn't there so i kept walking and i ran into bryan (he lives 2 houses away from ben so i'm guessing he was just getting home from his morning run) i must have looked a mess because he asked me what was wrong and i told him how my sis thinks i'm great and how my mom thinks i'm perfect and how it's all a huge lie and i started crying, then he said the worst possible thing he could have said 'well you are great and perfect, there's nothing wrong with that' i told him i didn't need that bs and he kept telling me how awesome i was, that was it was the WRONG thing to do, i felt like murdering him, after a bit i said 'cut your freaking crap and stfu! if i needed your bs i would have asked for it' i got up (we were sitting on the floor) and walked, well more like ran away from him, i climbed in my window cause i didn't want to see my mom but she had gone, i felt horrible so i did something stupid that i didn't think i would ever do again and drank two 2 litter bottles of diet coke and then i started throwing up for some reason, and i hadn't eaten pretty much anything so it hurt like hell, i pretended to sleep when my mom got here around 6, then my dad called and said he was coming over on sunday, that made me feel good but bad at the same time, i read basically all night and the next morning my dad came and we went to denny's and he started talking about my sister, my sister hasn't talked to him since last year because of a fight between him and my mom and my sis took my mom's side, in didn't take any sides obviously, but yeah he started asking me if she still spent all her money as soon as she got it and if she still partied so much, I don't know why but that made me really upset but i didn't show it, i just told him that she was more responsible now and she had never really been that bad and i was tired of people saying she's bad and i'm good, he said fine, we walked around the mall an i wanted to show him i wasn't so responsible as he thought i was, i bought some headphones and two the smiths' cds that i already had but i just wanted to make him get mad at me for wasting money or something, i dragged him into hot topic and bought a crappy shirt and three pairs of earrings, i hate hot topic but he hates it too so it was just another futile attempt to upset him...around 4 he dropped me home and i was mad at I don't know what, no one was home they had all gone to my stepdad's brother's house for a pool party, i felt like smashing my head on the wall and blowing up the world, i tried reading but i couldn't so i did something stupid and felt better, then it was all over and i relaxed and was happy again, it was like the world changed colors or something...
all the security guys know me and know that i don't really get into trouble or anything so they started intimidating the guy like REALLY bad 
...hope it all works out
. What stupid jerks! I hope everything turns out okay.