My school journal

[xXxAnG.eLaxXx]

The librarian is a bitch >.<. My 1st period class is in the library. I was going to 1st period listening to my mp3 player and was going to turn it off as soon as I sat down. She told me to turn it off. Then, right before class, she looks at our class and checks to see if anyone was listening to music. WTF? I think that mp3 players are considered dangerous or something in the student handbook. What am I going to do, choke someone with the earphones or something? Why don't we just make shoelaces not allowed at school >.<.

In Adv. English, I got an 88 on an essay that I thought I was going to do SO WELL on! She is basically telling us not to do ANYTHING we did last year for writing. I think the teacher I had last year taught us how to write well. I'm NOT changing my writing style just because my teacher wants my writing to sound like a piece of crap.

My band teacher actually wants me to do Honors Band! I suck so bad, though! She said I've improved a lot. I still need to improve A LOT more. I don't know if I'm going to do it or not. I might, though, but I'm afraid I'll make a fool out of myself.

A few days ago in algebra, we started to learn something harder. I'm finally getting how to do it ^_^. I still haven't mastered it, though. Maybe I'll practice over the weekend or something.

During 7th and 8th period, we had a pep rally.

[xXxAnG.eLaxXx]

Per 1 Speech- We watched a stupid video. I worked on my Mibba stories during that time, because I didn't want to watch the video.

Per 2 Adv. English I- We worked on our test for most of the period. After I was done with my test, I went down to the library to take my Accelerated Reader test. We also received pictures during 2nd period.

Per. 3 Band- The teacher wasn't there, so we had to go to study hall. I worked on my Mibba stories there, too.

Per. 4 Spanish I- We went over some stuff and crap.

Per. 5 Algebra I- Same as Spanish

Lunch- I worked on my Mibba stories yet again. I need some money for Snapples.

Per. 6 American Civics- We watched something on credit swaps and typed out notes. I was playing Freerice on my laptop for most of the period.

Per. 7 and 8 Art I- We finished our clay projects and started a project with drawing food. I don't know if the teacher already graded my clay project or not. If she did, she might have to re-grade it, because I worked on it some more.

[xXxAnG.eLaxXx]

On Monday, I finally decided that I was going to eat lunch again. I brought some cottage cheese and an orange on Monday along with some ice-cold water. At then end of the day, I forgot to take my lunch box home and thought I had lost it on the bus. It was instead still sitting in my locker. I took it home today.

First period was speech class. I asked the teacher if I could do my presentation on Friday, and he agreed. On Friday, I now have two assignments to do for speech. I would've had three if I didn't do one of them a while ago.

Second period I had Advanced English. All we did was go over what we have to do for a play review due Friday on a play we saw Monday about a veteran named Gino Merli. Our class unfortunately lost the Thanksgiving food drive thing where the first class to have all of their students donate at least one thing be awarded a pizza party thing. That's okay, though. I donated a lot, but I put most of it in my first period box for the food drive, where the donations go.

Third period I had band. I stuck two PETA stickers I got in the mail yesterday to my trumpet case. I was thinking about also sticking them to the music stand, but I didn't want to get caught. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow if I get there early enough.

Fourth period was Spanish. I had to make up a test I missed Friday, so I had to go to another room to do that. Without knowing it, I chose the room that my annoying brother was in. He was trying to annoy me while I was taking the test, but it definitely didn't work. He sure talks a lot in class.

Fifth period I had Algebra. All we did was a work sheet. We had a substitute teacher, and he didn't seem so nice.

Then, I had lunch. After I finished eating my lunch, I went into the bathroom and stuck a PETA sticker on the toilet paper dispenser. I plan to stick even more tomorrow. I am also going to stick one on the bus. I hope I don't get caught. I probably won't.

After that, I had American Civics. Like usual, we had a substitute teacher. I hurried up with my worksheet and began reading my Harry Potter book. I was using a PETA thingy as a bookmark, and someone took it and read it. I snatched it back, though. That's when someone else mentioned that they went to meat.org, which was written on my binder and a bunch of other places. They said to their group of friends, "Meat.org had a video of pigs getting killed. I'll still eat them, though." What a fuckin', heartless jerk. >.<

Last, I had Art. I started a new project today, but I don't like how it's coming out. I am still on my rough draft of it, but I hate the way it's coming out so far. It looks like an elementary kid drew it or something >.<.

Then, I went home, ate, and started my homework.

[xXxAnG.eLaxXx]

On the bus yesterday, I stuck the PETA sticker that says, "Keep hermit crabs free" or something to the wall thingy.

Yesterday in first period, I had study hall. WITH MY BROTHER >.<. He's so fuckin' annoying. A few days ago, he was shouted, "My Chemical Romance sucks!" at me in another study we had together. Yesterday in 1st period, one of his friends were shouting it at me >.<. Fools. I read my Harry Potter book for most of the period.

2nd period was Adv. English. We started to read a story about some dead guy in a box or something.

3rd period was band. We just did band stuff like practice the songs. I found out that we are going to have a test on them, but I don't know when or what exactly. I didn't go to school today, and I think we were supposed to find out today.

4th period I had study, because the Spanish teacher wasn't there. I read my Harry Potter book for most of the period. We had to have it in the cafeteria, because the study hall was over-crowded.

5th period was Algebra. We went over the problems, and he announced we were supposed to do probability today or something. We already did probability . Maybe I heard or remember wrong.

Next was lunch. I forgot my lunch on the kitchen counter, so I went without lunch. I drank a Snapple from the Snapple machine and read my Harry Potter book. After I was done with my Snapple, I went into the bathroom to see if the sticker I stuck to the toilet paper dispenser was gone, and it was. I then stuck another sticker to the wall of the stall. I hope it sticks better than the last one, so at least part of it is still there. It was the "Meat is Murder" one, my favorite. I now no longer have anymore of that sticker. Well, I did stick one on the back of my Harry Potter book.

6th period I had study again, because the teacher wasn't there. We went down to the auditorium for this one. I was thinking about sticking another PETA sticker to the back of the seats, but I knew I was going to get caught. I read my Harry Potter book once again.

7th and 8th period was Pre Chem. We practiced our stuff (can't think of what it's called right now for some reason.) I got some of them, but screwed up a lot. I seriously need a bit more practice. Unfortunately, I don't have my book, so I dunno how I'll practice. Well, I think I have the worksheets, with me, so I guess I could practice with those.

Today, I missed the bus, and my mom wouldn't drive me. I get to stay home. It sucks, though, because I'll have to make up my work >.< I tried to get ready in time, but I had to take care of my guinea pig. I need to get to bed earlier, so I could actually get out of bed earlier. Today I plan to work on some YouTube videos, my Mibba stories, and reading my Harry Potter book. I read over 100 pages of my Harry Potter book just by lunch =D.

[xXxAnG.eLaxXx]

In PE, we practiced volleyball crap, and that's all. I sucked so bad.

I forgot to do my paper for Adv. English, so I'm going to hand it in tomorrow and say I forgot it at home or something today. I probably would've done way better if I did it this weekend.

In band, I got my music for honors band. There is a piece of Harry Potter music . I hope I do well with the music. I was supposed to see the teacher to get a date scheduled for practice, but I'll have to do that tomorrow.

In Spanish I, I found out that I missed out on stem changes on Friday. They're extremely easy, though.

We're doing proportions in Algebra I, which are also easy .

I remembered my lunch today . I had some organic yogurt and a clemetine. I wish I had some more yogurt for tomorrow, but my mom only bought two. When I went to the lav, I discovered that the "Meat is Murder" sticker is still there and stuck another sticker in the other stall in the same place as the "Meat is Murder" one. I hope they stay there for a while, so they're hard to remove .

We started an open book test in American Civics.

In Pre Chem, we learned more hard stuff. On my quiz, I couldn't get one of the questions, and there were only 5. That means I'll probably get an 80 on the quiz. Oh, well. I think my grades will survive .

I was depressed for most of the day today. I just hate school so much. I feel like everyone there thinks I'm some sort of freak. Ugh. Not that it really matters that I feel this way... I feel like I need to talk to my mom about this ASAP, but I don't trust her....

Anyways, that's all.

[xXxAnG.eLaxXx]

In first period, we took notes for the next test we're having, which is on Thursday. It looks so easy!

2nd period we watched a biography movie thing on Edgar Allan Poe. It was sort of interesting I suppose, and we had to take notes. I hope we don't have a test on it or something .

Nothing much out of the ordinary happened in band today. I didn't tell the teacher that none of the periods she has free work for practicing my honors band music. Maybe she'll let me come during lunch or something one day. I'll have to talk to her about it.

In 4th period at the end of class, we played a game, and I seriously didn't want to. My sort-of-friend and I had to go against each other, and when we got up to the board, everyone was laughing at us! Ugh >.< I didn't give a fuck, though. Even after I dropped the chalk, we were tied. The teacher was going to make us do it again, but the bell rang. Oh, well.

We had a sub again for Algebra. I finished my worksheet fast and then read my Harry Potter book. Today, I only read a chapter or two.

I forgot my lunch once again, so I just bought a Snapple and read my Harry Potter book. Then, I went into the bathroom to see if the stickers were still there, and they still were! I hope they stay there for a really long time. Maybe they'll be really hard to take off when the janitors finally notice them.

We corrected our test thing today in American Civics (I don't know why he called it a test since it wasn't even graded,) and that's all. Well, we watched a few second video at the beginning of class, too.

The last class I had today was Art. I am behind everyone by a whole project! I accidentally cut myself with the exacto knife I was using, but I didn't want to tell the teacher. She probably would've sent me to the nurse, and I wanted to seriously get a lot of the project done. When I was cutting something out, I suddenly saw blood on the knife, my hand, and the paper >.<. I got a paper towel, used my hand-sanitizer on the cut, and cleaned off the knife thing. When I was trying to clean it off, I ended up stabbing myself with it a tiny bit. It took ten minutes for my fingers to stop bleeding! My project is coming out quite crappy. I hope I'll be done with it next time. I probably will. Then, I'll start on the next project.

[dark2nightmare]

pllllllllllease, be carefulwith those exacto knives...i use them in print shop...be careful...

[xXxAnG.eLaxXx]

On Wednesday morning when I woke up, the cut was bleeding a tiny bit. I put a bandage on both of the cuts, so they wouldn't become infected. I also watched it to make sure it wouldn't bleed anymore. After I finally took the bandage off, I noticed there was a tiny bit of blood on it. The cuts are closed well now, though .

In Speech, we have to do a TV ad thing. That's going to suck...

First period I had study. My brother was there like always for that study >.< He doesn't bother me much, though. I read my Harry Potter book for the whole period until there were only a few minutes left.

In Adv. English, we just went over what we read in the Edgar Allan Poe story we had been reading the day before. It was quite confusing reading it with the tape since the tape skipped a bunch of words, but when we went over it without the tape, it was fine.

I took my band-playing test in band today. I was nervous to start at first, so the teacher got out her own trumpet and helped. I was so freakin' nervous. I can get to the higher notes with no problem now . I did way better than I thought I would before It took it. I only got a 82 on it, though, but she said I could re-take it once I improve.

I have to stay after school on Monday to practice for honors band. It'll be the only time I have to practice it until when I have to go to the place to play it with a ton of other people. I'm going to be so freakin' nervous. The other people there are going to be way better than me, and I'm going to suck so bad. I hope I could get it. Good thing it won't be graded or anything. I need to get my name on my instrument case, though.

In Spanish today, we had a fire drill. It sucked so bad, and it was so freakin' cold outside. We weren't allowed to get our coats or anything, either . In Adv. English, the teacher told us about something that was supposed to happen in 4th period, but I didn't know what.

In fourth period, there was an announcement about vandalism in the bathrooms. I guess I won't be able to put anymore stickers up. Oh, well. The ones I have up are doing pretty well, anyway. They said they were going to monitor the bathrooms, and I don't want to get caught.

In Algebra I, we are doing some sort-of hard stuff. It's getting easier, though, and hopefully with practice it'll get easy.

During lunch, I ate my yogurt and orange, threw out my garbage, checked to see the stickers (I only got to see one, because I went into the wrong stall, and I didn't want people to think it was weird that I was checking out the stalls,) and the read my Harry Potter book. I'm almost done with my book . I hope I'll be back to take the test on it by earlier next week.

In American Civics, we got a copy of the fake test and were told what was going to be on the quiz. I wrote down what was going to be on the quiz on the fake test thing. At the end of the period, someone read what was carved into the chalkboard, and it said, "Say and Kae had hott sex." I didn't know Say was a name . Maybe it said something else. The teacher said there since he was in 7th grade . Only in my school... xD

When I was going to Pre Chem, someone suddenly scared the crap out of me . I dunno why they always choose me to scare the crap out of. I don't even know who it was. I laughed, though.

In Pre Chem, we did our quizzes and then started lab. We used actual stuff this time instead of the cornstarch we used the first time xD. It was pretty cool, though, but my group didn't finish. I don't think any of the groups finished, yet.

[xXxAnG.eLaxXx]

I could only make a fast update today, because I have to go to bed in order to get up early in the morning to go to honors band >.< I sort of wished I never joined it, because it's taking a large quantity of the small amount of free time I have. I'll be there until maybe 7 or 8 PM tomorrow, because the concert starts at 6 or something. It's going to be pretty long >.<, and I have to stay there the entire day >.<. Ugh. At least I got out of school today and didn't have to take a ton of tests and do my homework. I'm happy I wouldn't have had art today if I were to go to school, because that means I'll have more time to do my project. According to the morning announcements, the art teacher was supposed to have a study hall today. I hope a sub didn't just randomly came in the middle of the day for that class, though, like they often do >.< This school doesn't have nearly as many subs as it needs, and there are always tons of study halls >.<

I'm worried about a person who used to be my friend in elementary. I haven't talked to her since then. Anyways, the reason I'm worried is my brother said she was getting bullied badly, nobody would talk to her, and she was calling herself names. That sounds a lot like me, and that cannot be a good thing. She just came back to this school recently. Maybe I'm just over-worried. I just don't want her to feel shitty like me or anything, because she was a nice girl back then and is probably still a nice girl. Of course, I haven't seen her in years, so she could've changed. I'm still quite worried. Maybe my brother was exaggerating or something, though. I hope so. I need to get this off of my mind somehow. Maybe if I go to bed and wake up, it'll be off my mind a bit. I just need to vent some feelings out, but it's not helping much . Well, maybe it is a bit. You'll probably think I'm a fool or something.

Honors band went better than I expected, but I still sucked. I especially made a fool out of myself during this audition thing for seating placements, but I think many people did. Probably most people did way better than me, though. They probably at least played most of their stuff, unlike me xD. I only played a tiny bit, because I was way too nervous and hesitant. I didn't even play it right. I didn't want to make a complete fool out of myself and show that I couldn't play by myself if my life depended on it. They didn't even assign me a seat, and everyone, even if they weren't good at the music, were supposed to get a seat . There were more people without seats. Playing for so long was extremely tiring. We were there from like 9 till like 3:50 or something playing, only taking breaks for eating and auditions. We were supposed to have more breaks, but we didn't for some reason. I just hope that I don't have to play anything else by myself, but I probably won't. I suck so bad, though, and I'm worried that the other kids are going to hear me sucking. There are a ton of people there, though, so maybe they won't. I'm worried that the guy next to me is going to hear my sucking, though. I haven't had time for much else besides honors band for like two days, and it sucks. I only got like two or three pages written out of my new Mibba story, and if I had time tomorrow, I'd have way more done. I suppose I could do it after the concert tomorrow, but I'll be so exhausted by that time >.< Gosh! >.<

Alright, I better get to bed, because I am so freaking tired. It's 12:22 here, and I have to get up at 8:30. I seriously need my energy for this. Maybe I'll ask my mom to buy me a coffee if I remember. I probably won't even think about coffee tomorrow morning, though. I don't think I'll have enough time for breakfast. This whole entry has just been an entire rambling/venting, so night. Venting does not make you look good at all.

[dark2nightmare]

you should try to find your old friend and be friends with her again

[xXxAnG.eLaxXx]

I'm sick of fuckin' school. I'm sick of everyone there. I'm sick of being expected to do a million assignments at once. I don't even want to go anymore, but I have to . I wish I could drop out next year, but then I can't go to college. If I don't go to college, I fear I won't have a future. I feel like giving up on my future. What are the chances it's going to be good, anyway? I'm the shyest person in the entire world, and I'll probably end up with a shitty job due to that, anyways. I suck. I feel like school is an inescapable Hell. I'm sick of it. I wish I could skip tomorrow, but I can't. I wish I could change myself completely, but I can't. I'm sick of the way I am. I wish I could just change every, single aspect of me. I just wish I could die.

I think my grades are seriously lacking this quarter, but I dunno. They might just take a nose-dive after this week is over, however, and I don't know if I really care that much anymore.

[xxbetsaidaxx]

just hang in there and things WILL get better, they always do trust me on that... please don't give up on things, it doesn't matter if you're shy you can still have a future, you don't have to be ms. popular to have a future a all... and please don't ever change yourself that's worse than giving up, if you feel like you have to change something just change your attitude toward people that expect the world from you or that treat you badly, when it gets down to it who cares what they think or say really? once you're out of there you won't ever have to see their stupid faces again, so screw them and tell them to fuck off, i know that's easier said than done but once you get the hang of things (by things i mean not giving a fuck about things) it's easy and life
good again

please don't do anything stupid

[dark2nightmare]

dude serisouly...in highschool, i was voted the most shy....

i still say the people in my highschool are fucking retarded for doing that...i mean, they all just thought i was like that, it just never occured to them to fucking talk to me...or that i fucking hated their guts.....

sometimes hate is what gets you through...you say you hate school and being there...i did some days too...but you just got to remember, those kids that are mean to you, or dont talk to you or whatever...are assholes...

and im not gonna lie, and say you wont ever see them again, because if you end up going to a community college like me....you will see them again....and yes it does suck...but just remember once you get that degree, your free...you can get a good job...and make good money, and then you can move away...

and if anyone gives you crap at school, just fucking yell at them, do something...I don't know...if you let them win, then you lose....if you dont let them win, then you do...

and i would like to just say, monday i felt awful...i was serisouly thinking of suicide...ive thought about it before...but you just need to remember there ARE people who care about you

[xXxAnG.eLaxXx]

I had no school today, because we had a snow day . We might also have one tomorrow .

[xXxAnG.eLaxXx]

Right before first period even started, I handed in my speech project, which was actually supposed to be handed in yesterday, and the teacher put it on a desk in the study hall room he was watching over, where I also had study that period. A few people went over and looked at it. I just stayed in my seat and watched to make sure no one would damage it.

The project:


The teacher didn't know how I got my name like that. It was actually really easy. I just found the banner background I made for whatever (it's also one of the banner backgrounds I used for one of the banners on this site) and typed my name on it using the paint program that came with my computer.

Second period we got our midterm papers back to see our grades and then handed them back in. I got a 95 or 96 on mine. We then went to the auditorium and did Romeo and Juliet for the remainder of our time.

In band we didn't do anything. We had a news thing Monday morning where we had to come to school at 4:45 AM, so we watched a recording of what happened. I instead finished Breaking Dawn, because my mom had already recorded it and let me watch it. I should've helped with district band stuff, instead, but I didn't feel like it (stupid excuse, I know.) They already had a lot of help, anyway.

We got our midterm grades in Spanish, too. I only got an 88 or 89 . We also got our quarter grades. I only got an 88. I thought I did WAY better than that! I asked the teacher what she said, in case I misheard or something, and she repeated that I had an 88 >.< Maybe I shouldn't worry, but my mom expects me to be perfect and shit and wants me to get on the high honor roll. I guess I haven't been studying as much as I should, though. I've turned into a slacker lately, and it sucks >.< I. Just. Can't! Ugh. It's a complicated issue...

We took our midterms in algebra today, and I think I did pretty well. Then again, I thought I did alright with my Pre Chem midterm...

We finished our American Civics midterms, which were open book, and also listen to our teacher talk about the economy.

My Pre Chem midterm was horrendous. Ugh. I knew I didn't do perfect, but I didn't expect to get a SIXTY NINE on it! I don't think that's with the extra few points I receive because of Pre Chem being an advanced class, though, so I think it'll at least be a 72. Ugh. My mom is going to flip on me! I feel so shitty about it! I also got a FIFTY ONE on the test on something I thought was SO FREAKIN' EASY. I felt so frickin' depressed about these two grades for a few hours. I also got a sixty seven on another Pre Chem test I took before Christmas vacation. I honestly don't think I want my report card >.< Pre Chem isn't really my favorite subject, but I didn't expect to fail the midterm! I usually only don't do too well on the finals (usually just due to stress,) though I've always at least passed the finals. Ugh!!!!!!!


Also, we already have a snow day tomorrow. The school usually waits until the morning to completely stop school.